The Future Could Be Bright
by alderaaniansolo
Summary: Han and Leia post-ROTJ, rebuilding a world involves finding a place in it.


The fireworks over Endor lit the sky in a distant euphoria, was she happy? Of course she was, the second Death Star was destroyed, the Emperor was dead, and so was Vader. And that is where her joy ended, in the foreboding of her own tainted blood. While her understanding of the force was limited, one thing she did understand was genetics, and biologically: she was half of him. The future looked so bright for a moment; before Luke filled in the blanks of their story. She was Darth Vader's child. Luke had seemed so eerily comfortable with the knowledge, something that only exponentiated her isolation with this news. All the same, Luke wasn't the first person she'd go to anymore, immediately after Alderaan was destroyed he was the only non-infuriating person and eventual friend she had left, but now Han had become her constant. His transition from exasperating to best friend and lover had been rocky and eventful to say the least. She was certain of their relationship this morning, if you could even call it that in so many words. In war, nothing took solid terms, she knew she loved him and he knew he loved her, but specifics beyond that were never discussed. But now, the war was coming to an end, and where did that leave them? And what of Vader? She didn't even know how to begin to process that information and to push beyond the initial utter and complete disgust to be able even think of what Han would say. The only feeling that came with that thought was lurking anxiety in the pit of her stomach. The dress the ewoks had lent her had been warm enough earlier but now without the sun a chill crept through the air, breaking Leia from the swarm of emotions lurking in her thoughts. Detachment was the only way to describe it, and so she decided to rejoin the others, perhaps the joy everyone else felt tonight could put some space between her and these feelings.

"Sweetheart" Han greeted, pulling her close and kissing her on the head. He pretended to be oblivious to her absence, now was not the time to bring attention, he knew Leia long enough to know she kept her emotions very guarded. She relished his warmth and the feel of his hand on her shoulder, anything to keep herself in the present. Things weren't awkward between them, there wasn't enough time for that, but there was a mutual understanding of uncertainty that left an edge of anxiety. Han knew he wanted to be with her, he'd followed her this long, now that they had peace he had no intention of having that change, if she of course, would have him. She was the first thing in his life worth staying for, she was a reason not to keep running, and right now that was all he needed.

Giving the waining celebrations a final glace, "Why don't we head back? You sleeping on the Falcon tonight?" he whispered gently in her ear and keeping his face close to hers, she hesitated a moment, opening her mouth to speak before realizing: she had nowhere else to go. She had been beside Han on the Falcon since rescuing him from carbonite, no desire to leave his side, the respite they took in each other since then had been a lifeline for them both, and somehow they both understood that. "Okay, your generalship" she grinned at him, she'd been teasing him about his new position, but she had made it known how proud she was. Their repartee was a constant comfort, her ability to suppress her emotions was useful to delay any fall out this might have with Han, and she could so easily lose herself in him.

Snuggled into his chest under the blankets (which he'd added just for her,) laying so her face was facing his, "Well Princess, who would have thought you would end the war in the bed of a scoundrel?" he grinned at her, "Oh, I don't know, I've ended a few wars this way." she played back, "Most of those wars were ones fought with scruffy looking smugglers, and generally involved less blasters but the bed part. Very similar." He just smiled gently as silence held them for a beat. He pushed her hair away from her face as he spoke, "Leia, you did good today, we couldn't have done it without you" he genuinely meant it, but he hoped this would also lead them a little closer to what was clearly bothering her, which she thought she was succeeding in hiding. The compliment sat in her throat and creeped towards the feelings that had been lurking in her stomach, the inklings of anxiety came swarming forward in full force. She sat up, needing physical space, something to put herself between her and everything. Things can only be pushed aside for so long, and while sex had worked beautifully in distracting her since they'd returned to the Falcon… something like this… something so large, so domineering, so…so intrinsic but new. Even to Leia, an expert at suppressing emotions, this could not be pushed away for long. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she watched her hands, anchoring herself through the anxiety in focusing on their physical existence, a palm, a thumb, four fingers… Han remained silent behind her, he was here when she needed him, but this was her battle. Pushing her to open up would just push her away. Abruptly she turned, ready to speak, before the words caught in her throat, and the tears in her eyes. "Cmere" his arms were open to her before she had a chance think, and without thought she crawled back into his comforting presence. He was nervous about what exactly she had in mind here, he figured it had something to do with whatever Luke had told her after earlier in the evening when they'd gone off for a walk, she'd been distant since. He trusted her, but his entire world spun around this tiny woman, and anything upsetting her upset him, and right now at the crucial time, he knew it held weight. "Han, listen…" she tried to speak before needing to clear her throat, she kept herself wrapped in his arms, focusing on him right now, him before whatever reaction this might bring… "Luke told me…who our fath…" the word stuck in her throat, Bail Organa was her father. "…who our _biological_ father was." He watched her intently, not understanding how that information was causing her this much distress. She sat up to look at him, keeping her body close, and her hands on his chest, but needing to see his eyes when she told him. "Darth Vader…he was…" her mouth had dried out and the tears started. Confusion flashed through Han's face followed by sadness, he looked at her closely, this beautiful woman he loved more than anything, the woman who fought for the freedom of the universe was now saddled with this burden of something beyond her control…the sick twisted irony of it made him angry. He slammed his fist down on the bed next to them, "Damn it, Leia." he gritted out through clenched teeth, she pulled away quickly before he had time to explain the outburst. She was on her feet before he had time to react "Leia! Hey! Come back" he moved to follow her before quickly realizing how she could have misinterpreted him. She looked back at him with a look of complete coldness. "Han…it's fine, I wouldn't want to be with me either." He didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "No, sweetheart, I'm not angry at you, I don't even know who my parents were, how the hell do you think I have any basis to judge you?" She watched him very closely, looking slightly confused, her emotions taking a second to catch up, having spun from complete rejection to understanding within seconds. "What matters is that you're the woman I fell in love with, that woman is the bravest, most incredible person I know, and I'm angry because this is the kriffing last piece of bullshit you deserve. And damn it Leia, just because you know this now, doesn't make you any less of that woman." She let out a choked sob, before walking back to his beckoned arms he continued kneeling on the bed. She was still standing when he hugged her as tight has he possible could without squishing her tiny body, she needed to know how much he loved her. She clutched his face and kissed him with fervour and need, she needed to be lost in him, he could keep her solid. The kiss ended when she broke down into tears and he pulled her back into bed and surrounded her with himself as she cried. They were the kind of tears that came as a rarity, the kind that crept through your face, held your throat and sat on your chest. He just held her, he held her as she cried, she cried for Alderaan, she cried for the parents she lost, for her friends, for her entire world, for the survivors who had to move on, she cried because somehow a part of her had done this, somehow that connection made sense in her head and she needed to cry for it, and she did, until she could cry no more and he just held her. They lay there, and when the tears had dried, she whispered through the darkness of the cabin, "Thank you, Han." He just held her a little tighter, she was the center of his world, and he knew he could never explain this to her emotions right now, but having her in his arms was everything he needed.


End file.
